Dating--Is it Worth a Shot?

How do you know if you are ready to date after a divorce?  Now that is a hard question to answer.  I look around me and see people who have waited years to enter another relationship, but I also see those who are already engaged to another within a year.  I can't say that I believe I will ever be in the later category.  It's hard to imagine being able to trust anyone else with my heart for starters. 

People kept telling me to get back in the saddle as soon as possible.  I have a lot to offer to the right person.  Hmmm  Well, I don't know that I've ever had any doubts about that one, but I am a little worried about what THEY have to offer me.  After all...you get what you settle for...right?

I guess my biggest question was where do you start?  Since I live in a fairly small town and don't really meet anyone at my workplace, what else does that leave?  I've decided to do the unthinkable....online dating sites.  Now this could definitely prove to be an adventure.  My mother, who is very old school, once commented that she thought online dating was the worst of the worst.  She commented how could you really know what the person was like.  They could be saying anything.  Lying about anything from their job to their motives.  All true, but I have to ask....do you really know much more about a person if you met them say at the grocery store or local bar?  Not really.  People always seem to put on a good front in the beginning.  You only truly find out about a person after getting to know them. 

I decided to place an ad on 3 of the most popular dating sites.  Although the sites highly encourage you to post pictures of yourself, I opted not to do that.  I decided If I talked to someone for a while, and they seemed to be "real", then I would consider sending them a photo.  I was very surprised at how many repsonses I got without having a picture.  I did give an honest physical description, even including the fact that I "had a few extra pounds".  I wasn't really expecting that to make men want to beat my door down. 

I exchanged many emails with one seemingly nice man who had recently moved to town for work.  He stated he would be living here now because of his work, but would eventually (maybe within a year) be moving back to the east coast.  Oh well, not like I was really looking for anything serious at this point in time anyway.  After exchanging many emails and chatting online, I decided to take the next step and text.  Afterall, I could always change my number if need be...right?  This is definitely a new concept in the dating realm for me.  I didn't even HAVE a cell phone when I started dating my ex husband.  But, apparently this is how it is done now.  I decided I was going to give it a shot. 

A New Chapter in My Life

When things seemed as if they had gotten as bad as they could get, I asked my husband to move out.  He insisted he was willing to do ANYTHING to work things out.  I suggested we go to a counselor.  The counselor once told Wayne that he was the one who brought the "baggage" into our marriage.  That baggage was filled with the doubt and mistrust I felt, and he would have to learn to deal with it....after all he was the one who "packed" those bags.  And 2 months after divorcing him, I realize that the baggage has been "left" with me.  He has moved on in the physical sense, but how long will it take for me to unpack 10 years worth of luggage? And how will another man feel about this luggage when he isn't the one who packed it? 

Of course I realize it is no relection on any other man, and that each one should be judged solely on his own actions.  I just wonder how long it will take to empty all of the bags of the articles that were put in them for so many years.  How will this impact my future relationships, and isn't it ironic that I am the one who got to keep this "baggage"after the divorce?  Of all of the things I wanted the judge to grant me in the divorce, I don't remember this EVER being one of them.

I once read that trust takes a lifetime to build, but only a moment to destroy.  That statement could not be more true. 

A Little Background

Just a brief history about me....I'll try not to bore you.  I was married to "Wayne" for 8 years.  The first year or so was fine, but then he had an affair.  I stuck it out for 6 more years of bliss (yes, that's dripping with sarcasm).  Once I decided to get divorced, I thought my life would get easier, but I think I've decided that dating is even worse!  Are there any good men left?  Surely there are some....right?  Am I just a magnet for the men with problems?  Well, it seems that my dating life is a complete and utter disaster.  While discussing this with a male friend, he jokingly said, "These stories are great; you really should start a blog."  So here I am. My plan is to share the stories of my friends and I on our dating journey.  And as crazy as some of these stories may sound, as my name states.....You can't make this stuff up!